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Freedom from Guilt and Blame: Finding Self-Forgiveness, by Darlene Lancer
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Self-forgiveness following guilt is self-essential to self-worth. Yet, for many of us, self-acceptance remains elusive due to negative emotions stemming from toxic guilt–sometimes for a lifetime. "Freedom from Guilt and Blame" is designed to free you from guilt’s grip. It will help you sort out healthy from toxic guilt and distinguish it from other emotions, such as shame and regret. You're guided to review and assess your values, motives, responsibilities, actions, and beliefs, and understand the negative impact of perfectionism and codependency. To overcome guilt, three methods are set forth in detail: cognitive, self-compassion, and spiritual, including a Twelve-Step program approach. Applying these step-by-step processes and specific self-healing techniques and exercises will generate self-acceptance and self-forgiveness.
Guilt can be an unrelenting source of pain, keeping us stuck in the past and preventing us from being present and loving ourselves and others. Guilt may simmer in our unconscious, or we may condemn ourselves–not once, but over and over. Either way, toxic guilt is insidious and destructive and can sabotage our goals and relationships. It lowers our self-esteem and makes us easy targets for blame and manipulation. Unresolved guilt can cause anger and resentment, not only at ourselves, but also toward others. On the other hand, recovery from guilt encourages us to get along with others, improve ourselves, and build self-esteem. Even if what we did was wrong, we can still find self-forgiveness. "Freedom from Guilt and Blame" provides a step-by-step recovery workbook for healing guilt and finding self-forgiveness and self-compassion.
Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author of "Codependency for Dummies" and "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You." See her other ebooks: "10 Steps to Self-Esteem: The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism," "How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits," "Spiritual Transformation in the Twelve Steps," and a daily reader, "Codependency Recovery Daily Reflections."
- Sales Rank: #203851 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-07-21
- Released on: 2015-07-21
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Lots of gems are found in this self-help text and they are well explained and defined. If I were still working as a counselor, I would have a number of copies of this book to share with clients and students.
Lancer, a lawyer turned Family Therapist has a way with words that is helpful and easy to understand. Her definitions of guilt, blame, shame, anger and self-esteem are worth the price of ownership. Then she takes her precise definitions and uses anecdotal evidence to show their outcome and manifestations. One does not need to guess how guilt plays out in their own relationships and actions because of her precise explanations.
The definitions and examples are accompanied by exercises that allow the reader to fully participate in their own understanding and in changing behaviors that are not leading to healthy outcomes. The exercises on self-forgiveness are most helpful in removing sticking points and letting go.
Young people would learn and understand FREEDOM FROM GUILT AND BLAME; would find it useful to have on their shelf for future reference when they were caught in an emotional loop of behaviors. When people of all ages know and understand they can make different choices.
A very helpful book to read, reference and keep handy. Good ideas and exercises for starting a successful New Year and making changes in one's life and behaviors.
Patricia's Wisdom Book Reviews - See more at: patriciaswisdom.com/2015/12/freedom-from-guilt-and-blame-darlene-lancer-jd-lmft/#sthash.sO3ejVik.dpuf
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Freedom from Guilt and Blame
By Jim Scarborough
Another wonderful book by Darlene. I self identified with being codependent about 15 months ago. I discovered Darlene sometime around last November. Between her books, blogs, and her Facebook pages where she posts many different articles by different authors, I have grown in ways I never would have thought possible.
I've been taking care of my dad 24/7 since last October, so even if I could afford to go to therapy, I just wouldn't have the time (I'm sure I would have to go out of town for it, I don't think we have any good therapists here). Honestly, thanks to Darlene and all she does, I seem to be coming along just fine for now. I don't think I have read ANYTHING that Darlene either hasn't written herself or recommended on her Facebook page. Even after all this time she seems to come up with things that hit home so well it's uncanny. I can't wait to read her next book coming out in October, Dealing with Narcissism I think I heard.
Thank you SO much Darlene!
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